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Program 20-4-11: Taming aggression

A gentleness that calms the anger of others and that learns not to smother its own.

  • soothing gentleness
  • anger acknowledged
  • boundaries set
The essentials

Program 20-4-11: Taming aggression at a glance

A strength

In an argument, the person lowers the tension just by being there. They speak softly, stay steady, and find the words that bring calm back. Children, colleagues, and neighbors soften near them. This gift is precious in mediation, education, work with animals, or supporting people in difficulty.

Something to watch

By absorbing others’ aggression, the person forgets their own emotions. They smile, take it, put their anger away, and it stays inside. Learn to say no, to name what upsets you, to release tension through walking, sport, or writing. If the climate around you becomes heavy, this page points to where to turn.

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The card 20
XX · Judgement
The card 4
IV · The Emperor
The card 11
XI · Strength
The position
Programs
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By Thomas Guilhot · updated

What this program carries

This program gives a calm appearance and great gentleness.

Its strengths

The person has had a rare gift since birth: calming people’s anger and even that of large, dangerous animals. Harmony, wisdom, quiet strength, and assurance emanate from them. They often do not understand how fits of fury arise around them, but they put them out by instinct, as if following a natural law.

Where it can get stuck

The risk is an aggression with no apparent motive. Through their behavior, the person provokes others without meaning to: they draw anger onto themselves, then defuse it. This ability can turn toward fighting grips and dependencies, alcohol, drugs, or others; at its highest degree, according to the method, it would go as far as freeing someone from possession by an entity. The danger is forgetting oneself and swallowing one’s own anger. The method links this holding-in to disorders of the immune defenses, of the skin, and of various body systems.

What helps

Put this gift at the service of good. Several professions suit it: animal trainer or educator, conflict-management specialist, diplomat, supporter of people who want to break free of an addiction. Do not, however, turn the anger against yourself. Remember that you remain a human being, with the right to feel and show the full range of emotions. Find a socially acceptable way to release your own negativity. Accept yourself fully and stop trying to please at all costs.

In everyday life

Your neighbor flares up in the courtyard over a parking spot.

Without thinking, you approach, listen, rephrase, and the tone drops in two minutes. Once at home, the tension takes hold of you in turn. Instead of burying it, you go for a fifteen-minute walk, confide your annoyance to a friend, and note in two lines what you would have liked to answer.

A symbolic reading of the Destiny Matrix: food for thought about yourself, never a verdict or an established fact.

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Go further

How is it calculated?

First calculate all the points of the matrix, then look at each line of three points.

Frequently asked questions: program 20-4-11: Taming aggression

Do I have to bear others’ anger in their place?

No. Defusing is a talent, not a permanent duty. You have the right to leave a discussion that overwhelms you, to set a boundary, or to ask for calm. If a relationship is marked by shouting or violent gestures, this page directs you to help in finding someone to listen and advise.

Does this program say I attract conflict?

It says rather that tensions come toward you easily, because your calm is reassuring. There is no wrong in that, and nothing inevitable. By surrounding yourself with respectful people and learning to set your boundaries, you keep the gift without exhausting it. Others can also help you by stating their needs clearly.

How can I express my own anger without hurting anyone?

Choose a calm moment and describe what you feel, not the other person’s behavior: “It hurt me when…” If the emotion is strong, go through the body first: walking, breathing, writing. Your anger deserves to be heard. Said simply, it protects you, clears up your relationships, and keeps it from piling up in silence.

Programs: the 22 energies

Illustrations: Nicolas Conver’s Tarot de Marseille, dated 1760, restored by Tarot World Project, CC BY-SA 4.0 license, via Wikimedia Commons — images resized and compressed by Versana.