Destiny or growth: what psychology studies
Destiny and growth beliefs set two views of love against each other: a couple matched in advance, or a rapport that is built.
- destiny
- growth
- beliefs
Destiny and growth beliefs at a glance
For you, knowing which of these two beliefs you hold helps you understand your reactions to difficulties, without settling anything about the existence of a soul bond.
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Two implicit theories
In 1998, psychologist C. Raymond Knee published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology a study of what he calls implicit theories of relationships. Destiny belief holds that two people are, or are not, made to get along: the task would be to find the right one. Growth belief holds that a relationship is built by working through its difficulties: the task would be to cultivate the rapport.
What the study observes
According to the article’s abstract, among people who believe in destiny, the satisfaction of the early days weighs more heavily on how long the relationship lasts. Growth belief, for its part, goes with strategies for maintaining the bond when a difficulty arises. These results describe tendencies within a group of participants; they say nothing about any one person, nor about the worth of a couple.
What this research does not say
Psychology here studies beliefs, not the existence of soulmates or twin flames: this research provides neither proof nor refutation of a soul bond. It offers more of a mirror. If you think a relationship is written, a first disagreement can look like the sign of a mistaken choice of person; if you think it is built, it can become an opportunity for shared work.
Facts and sources
- The psychologist C. Raymond Knee distinguishes two “implicit theories” of relationships: destiny belief (two people are or are not meant for each other) and growth belief (a relationship is built by working through its difficulties). C. R. Knee, “Implicit theories of relationships: Assessment and prediction of romantic relationship initiation, coping, and longevity,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74 (2), 1998, pp. 360–370, DOI 10.1037/0022-3514.74.2.360 (reference checked on Crossref on October 15, 2026)
- In this study, the length of relationships depends more on early satisfaction among people who believe in destiny; growth belief goes with ways of coping that maintain the relationship. Same article, abstract reread on October 15, 2026 (OpenAlex, DOI 10.1037/0022-3514.74.2.360): initial satisfaction more predictive of longevity among destiny believers; relationship-maintaining strategies among growth believers
Beliefs reported from the named authors: a mirror for reflecting on your relationship, never a prediction or a verdict on a person.
Destiny and growth beliefs: your questions
Does believing in soulmates harm a couple?
Knee’s work does not put it that way. It shows that destiny belief makes the satisfaction of the early days more decisive for what follows, and that growth belief goes along with efforts to maintain the relationship. A belief is neither good nor bad in itself: it colors the way you react to difficulties.
Does psychology prove that soul bonds do not exist?
No. It does not study the existence of soul bonds, only the beliefs people hold about love and their effects on how a relationship is lived. This research settles nothing spiritual; it helps you see what your own belief changes day to day.
How do I know which belief is mine?
A simple lead: faced with a major disagreement, is your first thought “maybe this wasn’t the right person” or “how do we get through this together”? The first matches destiny belief, the second growth belief. The two thoughts can also alternate depending on the moment.
Other topics
Look at your own connection
To gauge the weight of the idea of destiny in your bond, the “Read my bond” grid also asks about the place of belief.
Read my connection Free, no account · nothing is sent · no predictions.